You’re implying that I stay happy all the time, which is not necessarily the case. Everyone has their moments of fear, stress, insecurity, sadness or general unhappiness, and so do I. While there is a lot you can do to promote happiness, there will always be factors that you can’t control, so being happy is easier said than done. 

Here’s what I try to do though: eat healthily, exercise regularly and do things I love. I believe that last element is an essential part of happiness. For me, doing what I love means creating things. It doesn’t really matter what those things are, as long as there is a creative process. I need projects to work on, because having goals to achieve is what makes me thrive. Most importantly, those goals have to be set by me, because working for something I don’t care about won’t make me happy (which is why school is rarely a source of happiness for me).

My advice for you would be to first find out what really makes you happy. Once you know that, you can slowly try to start creating the circumstances that will allow you to do what you love, while also hoping that life (and the chemicals in your brain) won’t be too hard on you.

I do not believe in God, because I have no reason to assume there is one (or more). I realize that religion is a very touchy subject, but I’ll try to explain my ideas without offending anyone.

• If there is a God who would want me to believe, I would expect him or her to give me a personal sign of existence. Something along the lines of: “Stijn, I am God, and I exist.” If he or she really is almighty, that should not be a problem. Without such a signal, a good and reasonable God could in no way blame me for not believing if all else I have to guide me is the conviction of other people.

• I strongly reject some of the morals that are associated with Christianity. Even if a God does exist, I would refuse to worship him or her if perfectly normal things like homosexuality, masturbation and contraception are considered sins, because they are not. If there is a God who’s truly good, he or she would not condemn people who don’t share the same values. 

• I believe that humans are animals, except more intelligent. This means that if humans go to a heaven, so do animals. Considering the huge amount of insects that have ever lived on this earth, heaven would be crawling with them, and a hereafter filled with insects is not exactly what I’d call a paradise.

Not believing in God does not mean that I don’t respect people who do. I believe that religion is a personal matter, and if you have reasons to believe in God, I completely understand and respect that. I am me and you are you, and we are both entitled to our own beliefs. The only thing that I will not respect, is people who impose their believes on others.

Live and let live.

Starting university turned out to be a very important step for me. Not so much in the practical way, because it’s mostly just high school at a higher level. What it did, was that it forced me to get out of my comfort zone. I got thrown into an entirely new environment where I knew no one, and no one knew me.

As an introvert and shy person, making new friends is not something I’m good at, unless it’s over the internet. Being in the center of attention makes me uncomfortable, so I stay quiet in big groups. Incidentally, universities love putting new students into big groups, so you’ll understand why I skipped most of the introduction activities. 

While I made acquaintances during the first few weeks, I’d mostly sit alone in class. That was new for me, and it brought along some insecurity. How is it that I’m the only one sitting alone? Why is everyone else able to act so comfortably around people they’ve known for a mere day? Thoughts like those would repeatedly cross my mind, and while they made me feel weird, they also intrigued me.

That’s when I started reading about personality types. I learned about introverts, extroverts, and how their brains work in different ways. There were profiles that described me so accurately that it freaked me out. The more I read, the more I realized that the thing I believed I had to overcome was actually a common personality trait that defined who I was.

All of this new knowledge gave me a feeling of liberation that I had never felt before. It started to feel really good to do things by myself. Going to the movies alone became a fantastic experience. In a room filled with groups and couples, I was by myself and I no longer gave a fuck.

Right now, I’m three years into university. Although I did make friends, I still prefer to sit alone at times. If other people think that’s weird, I now let them think that. I don’t go to class to socialize, but to get smarter and to get a degree. If I pick up some new friends along the way, that’s a great extra, but it’s not why I’m there.

Back to you. The problem you’re dealing with is not your introversion, but the idea that introversion is weird and wrong. Because introverts are a minority, extroverted values have become the norm in our societies. Turning down party invitations is rude, because parties are fun. Declining a phone call when you’re reading is not okay, because reading is not important. Etcetera. You’ve heard them all before. 

This is not an attack on extroverts, because they often don’t realize other people have different preferences. I believe that proper education on this subject would help both introverts and extroverts to get a better understanding of themselves and each other. 

Becoming proud of my introversion has been a slow process that’s still not entirely completed. Try to understand what your introversion means, and try to accept that it is perfectly normal. It may not be convenient all the time, but don’t let anyone tell you there’s something wrong with you, just because you’re not like them.

Even if only a little, I hope that my story can help you to become proud of who you are, because that’s a very important thing to strive for. 

Before December 19, a deceased dictator was not among the things I considered capable of doubling my blog’s traffic overnight, but I was wrong.

On the day that the news of Kim Jong-il’s death spread across the globe, more people than ever before decided to visit my blog. Coincidence? Nope!

A seemingly strange occurrence, that most would dismiss as a case of correlation does not imply causation. So would I, if there wasn’t an actual relation between the two events.

You may be familiar with a blog called Kim Jong-il Looking At Things, which (surprisingly) features pictures of Kim Jong-il looking at things. When he died, a lot of people decided to pay them a visit. And, as they’re using one of my tumblr themes, the spike in my traffic can be explained by the people who clicked through to me. Mystery solved!

God, I love stats.

The music industry sucks, so let’s make it better!

One of the reasons I rarely purchase music is the way in which revenue is shared between artists (10%), distributers (30%), and record companies (60%). It would be ignorant to simply state this as unfair, because such companies are important actors in the process of  creating and distributing music. They provide vital services and deserve their fair share in revenue for doing so. The problem I’m addressing here is, therefore, not the presence of middlemen in the music industry, but the lack of options to really support talented artists.

I am totally okay with the idea of paying for music, and I’m sure many more people would be, if a bigger share would go directly to the artist. After all, now that music is no longer a physical product and freely available on the web, the only reason for me to spend money on music is to support artists I like. However, knowing the way profits are split, purchasing music feels more like funding corporate wallets than supporting my favorite artists. I’d have to buy three albums before an artist could buy a simple coffee with my money. That doesn’t seem right, does it?

To persuade people like you and me into buying more music, services like iTunes should provide options that focus on supporting artists directly. One possible feature that would certainly make me purchase music more often, would be the ability to tip artists. I made an iTunes mockup (above) to illustrate how this could work. I could be wrong, but this solution seems like a reasonable win-win for all parties involved. 

It’s surprising how empty the streets of a city with a population of 13 million can be before it’s even midnight. Granted, there’s isn’t much to do in the dark residential neighborhoods of eastern Taito, Tokyo, but at only 5 kilometers from the city center, you’d expect to see a little more activity than just the flickering lights of vending machines.

While a portion of streetlights are turned off these days nights — one of the many ways the Japanese are trying to cope with the power shortages that ensued after shutting down all nuclear reactors last spring — strolling through the Tokyo night is far less creepy than this photo may imply. The city has a reputation of being extremely safe and after my trip, I can only agree. I’m sure the sense of security varies in different neighborhoods, as it does in any city, but the ones I’ve been to all felt very safe.

One of the nightly luxuries that Tokyo offers and Amsterdam doesn’t are convenience stores that never close. Although the snacks may not always turn out to be what you expect (don’t even ask, it was a banana with… something), it’s nice to be able to give in to midnight cravings. Especially when you’re from a country where supermarkets close at 8 and don’t open at all on Sundays. 

I knew there were a lot of vending machines in Japan, but I had never imagined there to be so many. There are machines everywhere. No matter where you go, there’s one (or more) in sight. Even in quiet residential areas where you wouldn’t expect them, you can’t miss them.

Most of the drinks are sugary sodas or iced coffee. I swear I must’ve seen (and tried) at least 30 different kinds of iced coffee, which happens to be my favorite drink. Much cheaper than in the Netherlands and not always unhealthy; there’s unsweetened coffee and tea too.

The bad part? While there’s one vending machine for every 23 Japanese citizens (yeah, that’s right, 23), there are virtually no outdoor garbage bins. I think it’s because they expect you not to eat on the street, but it’s rather annoying when all that’s left from your coffee is the empty can.